Thursday, November 26, 2009

My personal list of things to do before you die

Hmm... So is this post gonna be wannabe`ish ? Am I trying to show that I am so cool?

The answer is Yes.
haha kidding you bastards. Well I will be sharing with you things which I did since my childhood which I repented doing at that time but now when I look back I feeel awesome...
Rather than asking you to do the same, I would like you to tell me similar kinda stuff in ur life.


Pee in the basin
Yeah right. Its awesome. Though it makes more sense for guys than girls. I bet once you do that you will never want to pee in the commode anymore. The height is soo appropriate that you wont need your hands ...
Note: Please control yourself to pee only. I cannot imagine someone doing number two there.. HAHAHA

Shop lift
Hmm this is the art where you go to buy object A (Or just inquire about its price) and while the shopkeeper is busy showing Object A , you slip some Object B in your pocket. The thrill is awesome.
Note: Malls are too boring and unchallenging. Try some grocery store /general store where there are many people on one counter.

Steal a vehicle.... from your dad
When I was in school I was not allowed to touch our two wheeler. I teamed up with my friend, got it repaired when dad was at office, and drove it all round the town till we ran out of fuel. I had to break my piggy bank for a litre of petrol. That was the first time I realized petrol was expensive.

Fake a bill
Well this not something really awesome. But it will give you a high the first time you do it. The best was when me and my friend over estimated a budget and split with the money so that we could run off somewhere awesome with our gf/bf.
For that I had to actually make fake receipts at home and come up with shady names such as 'Sunshine Dry Cleaners' and 'Mahalaxmi medicals' (The names are so generic that you will believe that these shops exist but you will never actually find the shop)

Steal 3d goggles
For the shop lifters, the next stage is to manage to steal the priceless 3d goggles from a theatre. There are so many guards at the exit door that its nearly impossible to smuggle it out. Me and my friend both managed to smuggle it out :D

Fake your Id proof
Is doing shady things a habit for you? Do you feel that your reputation will be down the drain when u are busted?
Well the best answer is to have a id which says that you are someone else. I had a fake college Id which was ever confiscation-ready (Rs 50 for a duplicate id was a big sum )
I had a friend who had a bundle of fake driving licences which he would submit instead of paying the fine:P The poor policeman used to think the chap is going to come back with money to take his card back :P

Have spikes
Well Dil chahta hai was awesomest movie of those days. Spikes like Aamir khan was the in thing to do. The problem: I dont look like him. The bigger problem: I look worse than my normal self when with spikes. I remember when I had come to college with newly done spikes, two girls were so uncontrollably laughing that they ran away to some other place .. :(

Fail in exam hopelessly
Those were the days when failing in exams was awesome. Single digit was super awwesome. Only later I realized that inorder to save myself frm losing a year, I had to get some super duper marks. Those days are still fresh in my mind. I had literally stopped studying for the next year (HSC) cos I was so sure of flunking :P

Caught while copying in exams
Well I was in a division meant for scholars. People whose names appear in merit list. People who shine. People who make their college proud. People who make their country proud. And there are some exceptions like me. I was caught with a bundle of papers. I was asked to go to the principals office. Call your parents next week. yes maam!! the next week still has not come.

Caught while helping others in exams
Girl: I want to see some of your stuff.
No its not something naughty. The girl was sitting behind me and wanted to copy some stuff enough to pass. Boobs are anyone`s weakness and I agreed to show some stuff not realizing that the supervisor was watching all this. Within a moment he came to me, blasted me and took my paper. 5 Marks gone.. dhatt and I never saw the chick in college (Actually I had never seen her before which explains her condition in exams :P )

Rip off the canteen wala
Hmm... A plate of unlimited meal costed 25 . The costliest thing in our canteen. It was available only during lunchtime. It had a red colored token.
one cup tea costed 5. It was available only during breakfast. It had a red token.
So I used to buy a tea coupon and use it for lunch. And more than that it used to fill the stomachs of 3-4 people as it was unlimited. The canteen wala caught us when the plate was being circulated among frnds. Damn it was soo embarassing. But thats why it makes it in this article

Run a scam
Well I dont want to recommend a financial scam, but you can take your friends for a ride for a long time. We used to play badminton in school. I came up with a trick of serving that made it impossible for the other person to handle. Such deadly was my trick that the moment it was my turn, everone knew the games over. Alas few of my friends joined some badminton coaching where they was told that this trick of mine was totally illegal. I hate badminton since then :P

Try to pick up a chick
Well this is one thing most of friends did but dont admit doing it. Me and my friend used to be ready with cheesy pick up lines and excuses.
It never worked.
When we were in office .. we used to ping chicks on out internal office messenger..
Its 1 am in the night and i am still bloggin and not doing something with someone.
It never worked. lol

Have a clean friend from the opposite sex with whom you can share anything ...anything
Here the person in question cannot be your gf/bf (some people have different tastes these days)
The reason being, the moment you reveal it all to ur bf/gf , you wont have a bf/gf anymore :P
Well they are the people with whom you share all your dirty secrets. Its fun because it fun to share the dirty secrets which no one in the world except a select few people know. It will make you feel good that someone trusts you so much.

Be produced in a court
Whatever the crime is, its awesome to be in a court. And I had to appear in a court as a juvenile.
Its awesome when the case is titled
"State of Maharashtra Vs Kartik Sura"
Awesome.

Have a big team secret.
Have you ever had a team party on a particular day only because the person you hate is not there? Have you ever stolen others shopping coupons to buy underwear? Do it.

Be at two places at the same time.
So so what do I mean here? You tell at home that you are going somewhere. Whenever you are phone you pretend to be somewhere there. You patao your friend who swears that you are actually with him at 'that' place. Everything is set, now actually where you are, with whom, doing what is .. all upto your imagination.

Buy a condom
Yeah losers like me just buy it. Never get to use it. (No its not a problem with my thing.. its being unlucky). whatever it is. Try buying a condom esp if its your first time. Worse try buying one where the shopkeeper is your fathers age.
The look that he will give is enough to send you in a super guilty mode ... but later on you will laugh at it


There are thousands of things happening around me , with me, with people around me which make me say ....awesome ! Well I realize that I have not done any justice to the title of my article. But I case you made it to this point of article, I am satisfied.

7 comments:

Ravan said...

Really??? I mean...really really??? U gotta be kiddin me...:P

Buy a condom?? Dude, these are things you do before you get married...think of married perceptive...

Fyi... I am also coming up wid the same list...and i think most of the things tally...

yeah pee in the basin too...:D

anupbhandari said...

Kabe... atleast keep you blog original. Not 'Downloaded from'.

Awesome post Sura.. We will discuss few points in person.. :P

akshara said...

strangely...most of the items on your "been there done that list" and NOT your "to-do list" seem strangely shady and bordering on illegal...are you writing from behind the bars right now??? :P

by the way "State of Maharashtra v/s Kartik Sura"

really?????????

- akshara

Kartik Sura said...

Hmm well they are shady thats the only reason they made it here....

"State of Maharashtra v/s Kartik Sura"
is for real...though the actual thing done is not so pompous

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