Saturday, August 29, 2009

Pichwada mein pineapple

Well just few hours ago a super huge goof up from my side had been discovered by my Team. It will mean a big client escalation on Monday. When I was pulled up for a justification, I was astonished to know what all things were racing through my mind.. I did not care anymore about the problem or how many people were looking at me when i was being fired..... I was thinking the following shit :

You meant THAT?
Well try to blame the person who is trying to blame you in the first place. Try to convince him that a conversation asking for that work never took place. If you are unlucky like me and the other person fishes out a mail with all the shit written clearly... read on

I told him:
Well you knew it is important. Now make your subordinate an eternal bakra by giving him vague perfectionist instructions. yeah I mean instructions like "Make sure there are no bugs" or "Understand everything properly first". Now as you have ensured that earthquakes and swine flu is also taken care of by ur subordinate....chillaxxxx and shove him in the front. If you are an unlucky bastard (like me ) who does not have a subordinate...read on

I thought... : Well try to blame the same old story...communication gaps... One thing that has bothered countless couples...countless parents... is communication! Well try to explain that you have got it right ..but your way.... you interpreted the stuff in such a way that it ended up the way it is. Typically your ass will be saved after just a mild reprimand or self correction by ur boss. If God hates you so much that you do not even have a fucked up version running (like me)...read on

Minor sa issue hai: Now try to calm your boss down by playing down the issue. "Ohhh itna sa hi toh hai". Pretend to solve it then and there by blabbering some random suggestion like "aah I got it... just change the value from 10 to 13 and ....yeah " Try to snatch the mouse and keyboard from her/him and try to fix it on his desk itself. This should be enough to freak him off and pack you offf to fix it at your desk asap. If you have so much of bad karma that its a discussion room without code access (like me)...read on

Gaayaab: This happened just a few days back. Again a goof up (not this big) in the Test release build. When the QA guy brought it to the notice of my manager.... I over heard it ...Craaaaap....
what to do...the goof up is so silly that there is no excuse. The implications so serious that there will be no excuse. My manager looked at me and she said "Kartik!!!"
I did not dare give a look..... I claimed I was in middle of something really important and critical... called up a colleague on extension and was discussing some (seemingly) super critical stuff. My manager backed off and she said "Karo karo... baad mein baat karte"... I was staring at my screen intensely and sratching my head intermittently till lunch time... After that the matter was forgotten.
Only thing in todays case was that in dicussion room I did not have any thing with me :( ...read on

Khol ke baitho: This is wat my friend says when all the options are over.. "Khol ke baitho aur bolo aaoo..maaro....ghus jaao....". His entire advice: "kutta jaisa shakal banao" "aisa baat karo ki tum aisa kar hi nahi saktaa" "chup chaap sunlo"
Mind it ...it really works.

Title of the post: Well the title of the post is because of an incident in our cafeteria. Once we were discussing what kind of punishments must be given in hell. (Our next destination). Now what did we really do that we were so sure of going to hell...will be my some future post. One guy started explaining stuff from mythology ..kumbhipakam..krimibhojanam.... Then one teammate interrupted him in a garish bihari tone.... "Abbey woh sab kuchhh naaiii ... .maine ek movie dekhaa "little nikki" ...usme bataayaa hai..... hell mein pichwada mein pineapple hota hai". I still burst out into laughter whenever I am reminded of that :)

5 comments:

iceman said...

hehehehehe !

It was actually funny till the last line ! Laughing my ass off in one of those awkward moment of yours. I hope there is more to come since I know this aint your last goof off !

Piya said...

HA HA HA ........

I just cant imagine people in hell roaming here and there with pineapple and asking everyone... How r u?... I am fine thank you.... he he he

Kartik Sura said...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YssMT0qXYOw

Sid 'Ravan' Kabe said...

i liked the title of the post...ho ho ho

Neeraj Gupta said...

nice post.....

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