I don't understand why I try to come up with spoof like titles and screw them up. Well recently someone had posted an article on her experience in a beauty parlor on woman`s day. After reading that, I decided to observe more when I go to my parlor for a haircut. Well I did not get any discount or anything. Mebbe because it would spell doom for his business (I mean the other 364 days are supposed to be Men`s day).
OK OK. I don't go to any parlor sharlor. I usually cut my hair in a sidey men`s saloon. More salary cuts and you will find me getting my hair cut under some tree. Hmm fine let me admit that it has nothing to do with the cuts but I am cheap by default and find spending 500 for a haircut in a designer saloon a bit too much.
So after a tiring day in the office I entered the saloon. The walls were painted in a gaudy blue color. One of the tubelight was flickering and the radio was blaring with hindi songs. "Thoda rukna padegaa sahab,20-30 minutes" said the man. I turned into my smarty pants avtaar and threatened him "Theeke main jaa raha hu" and started leaving the shop, super slowly and thinking "abbey rukaa na mujhe". My smarty plan worked and he gave in by promising to attend me within 5 minutes.
Well for 20-30 minutes I waited for my turn (damn my smarty avtaar :( ). There were couple of newspapers and magazines thrown in. I wonder why do there people like 'police times' so much. I am shocked that we have so many snuff fans around. Also there were lots of Filmfare and stardust mags around. So after enough of leching at lots of 'heroines' (actress is not a cool term to use here), I ran out of patience and screamed at him "boss aapne 5 minute bola tha!" (Yeah you have to call him boss, dada and what not to make him happy). He smiled at me and said "bas abhi aaphi ka turn hai" (translation: "kaise ullu banaaya").
So I went and sat on the chair which looked not less than a throne. The barber assigned to me came. His hairstyle was resembling Anil kapoor`s. When I looked around I was surprised to see posters of sanjay dutt, anil kapoor stuck up. He saw me looking at them and said "Wahi toh hai asli hairstyle..gaya woh zamaana..". he added, "Aaj kal ke bacche kuch bhi karte hain ispikes, istraightening...dhatt ". That time I realized that I had come to a wrong place.
"Mujhe Saadha cut chahiye". Yes, saadha cut is a type of cut which does not fit in the categories of ispikes, istraightening, anil kapoor, sanjay dutt ,etc etc. He then covered me in a filthy cloth which was supposed to protect me from my own hair (while i could see duniya bhar ka hair on it). His scissors moved swiftly and within some minutes he was done. Then he loaded his vastara (razor) with a brand new blade (or so I thought). While shaving I moved a bit and he grunted "HMMM!!". I was reminded of the scene in andaaz apna apna "Babulal kaan sambhaal ke kaato".
There was a small kid beside me who was scared to death and was wailing. My barber was getting irritated (and I was getting scared of the barber). Finally he got pissed enough and ... and he increased the volume of the radio!
After he was done with me, he opened a drawer filled with cosmetics. I was busy making faces at that kid. Puff puff ..he dusted some talc on my face...and mind it koi aisa waisa talc nahi "Sona Talcum Powder". I was looking like a clown. "Yeh kyaa kiaa!" I screamed. Phuss Phuss came in a spray of water and I was startled and washed clean instantly. Before he could get a chance to use his "Vicky turmeric cream" and "Zeeba after shave lotion" I got up to leave. "Abhi tak huaa nahi hai sahab maalish baaki hai".
Then for few minutes he massaged my head. I swear that was a soothing experience especially after a long day. Then I got up, paid him 30 bucks and left his shop. Though it was cheap like ... well there is no comparison i can think of :P . All for 30 bucks it was worth it :)