Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Heir to be hairless

Ok I agree that the title isnt really funny. I am among the unfortunate few people whose jeans are responsible for their receding hairline(I know its genes..I am not that dumb...dont just go to my prev post on screwed up english and post a link to this article).

Receding hairline will mean
I will be offered Alok Nath kind of roles only in case I join films :P
Neighborhood kids will call me "Uncle".
I will miss the freebies offered with hair products (yeah i buy them only for the free stuff)

But it will have advantages too like:
People around will think that I am the Project lead or something.
I might get a salute or two from the guard who usually does not give a damn.
People might make efforts to make place for me in the lift.
I read in the papers last week that bald men are a big turn on... (oh no i forgot who that chick was ....)

Well there was a time when I used to try to avoid this phenomena by trying out everything possible....yeah almost
Experiment #1: Ayurveda
One well wisher friend (i have two kind of frnds who is well wisher and other who wishes the well for me) suggested that I should try this special ayurvedic oil. Its super formula is supposed to bring back my lost glory. wooohooo!! I immediately got one and opened it and....yuck yuckie yuck... It was so stinky that I immediately knew how this actually worked:
The secret is:
You feel bald when others call u bald.
So Put something that makes sure that there is no one will dare to come closer than 10 meters to you.
No people around so no one will call u bald.
No one will call u bald so u wont feel bald.
Formula successful!!!

Experiment #2: Yoga
One day I was channel surfing and somehow i got hooked on to a saint like person doing some acrobatics. Later on he was talking something about hair. Woohoo!! (again)
"Rub your nails against each other and the hair will grow!", he said.
In the evening I discussed the technique with my friends. I asked them whether they ever tried such stuff. "Nahiiiiiii!" screamed one frnd...He recollected his trauma, "Yaar, Maine woh technique use kiya... Sar pe toh nahi poora badan pe baal aagaya! ab full bhalu ban gaya main". Thank god for the timely intervention!
Their secret:
We know for sure that there are some nerve endings near the nails which connect to the hair.
We dont know for sure which finger nail is for the head.
Keep rubbing and in case you know which nail is the exact one...write to us. You will get a gift hamper containing 15 authentic herbs.

Experiment #3: The Internet
Well internet is supposed to be THE answer. Well after hitting some crappy websites which actually wanted to sell their stuff (i.e. it actually qualified for the above two) I finally came across a good website which explained the causes of hair loss, the symptoms, the proper diet recommended, everything. Woohoo!!! (or so i thought)
The last point they mentioned was.. Hair loss in men is mainly hereditary and nothing much can be done about it. so why not shave off the remaining stuff and sport a macho baldy look?

The last sentence they said made the difference. To hell with the hair. Though there is still quite a bit of hair on my head...I know what to do now :D


Teji said...

receding hairline huh.. buddy i hope i can recognize u when i visit next... :D

dont worry id like u how ever ull be.. jus wear a hat.. :D

Kartik Sura said...

hat?? tu chal hat :D
u have no option than to like me :D
anyway mebbe u will fall for me seeing me in the bald macho look :D

SiD said...

Dude...if you are shaving off don't do it Gandhi style go for Raghu style(roadies wala) and I will pray for the lost soldiers(hair) who died in the battlefield(scalp)

Piya said...

he he he... Nice one.. keep going and trying ( I mean, dont try to grow hairs.. try writing some such good blogs)

Kartik Sura said...

heehaww thanks piya :)

Sooraj Purandare said...

nice 1.. good read. keep writting .

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