Saturday, April 25, 2009

Taste of illiteracy

Well am writing this post when I am supposed to study for my device driver exam..(damn it ...whenever i have to study i end up blogging!) Well I am posting after a long time after my colleague vilde suggested that I should write more... Well I dont know whether its for good reading or he wants something to make fun of :P

Hmm... I come from a type of family which had migrated to Pune long long time back leaving our native place. I speak Telugu at home. But that's the only place where I speak Telugu. That the problem...yeah that has assured that i can speak only toota foota telugu and cannot read or write it :( Yeah that means i am officially a telugu illiterate guy!

Everything is fine as long as i keep my ass in Pune.... Telugu is cool and serves as a wonderful secret language...(I can comment abt anything/anybody without anyone except mom/sis understanding a word out of it). But the pandora`s box is opened when i get my ass to Hyderabad. Yeah the story starts here ...

Everybody is bogged down by illiterate people at Bus stands, Railway stations, hotels etc. Those people expect us to explain the entire schedule/menu and also suggest them the best option. Well My friend happened to be on the other side for a change. Yeah the illiterate side. Due to the over patriotism shown by most of the states towards their official language, these people have all the information on the buses in telugu. So my friend Santosh (sorry for introducing him late...i forgot) was in the holy town of Tirupati for the blessings of Lord Venkateshwara so that he would do well in studies (pass in the exams :D ). There he was at the bus stand (obviously waiting for the bus..not for begging...i said taste of illiteracy not taste of poverty...remember?) . Brummm drummm pom pom comes the Bus ..with all the hustle bustle around ..he tried to focus his eyes and zoom in on the destination....zoooom 5 %10% 100%..jalebi jalebi jalebi...All he could see was something written in jalebi like language. Frustrated..he went to the nearest person...and asked him "Where does this bus go?" (In telugu) The other person`s face changed...
agrily he said to my friend ,"!@#$^@#@!! Why are u making fun of me"
(the !@#$%$ was in telugu ...probably having references to his mother/sister).
He said to my friend "You look well educated and from a good family. Do u need spectacles?" My friend was wondering.."Kash chasme se kaam ho jaata"... He tried to explain that man that he could only speak telugu and not read it... his schooling....But after some more references to his mom/sister he gave up. On his way back he picked up a book "Learn Telugu in 30Days"..for the next time of course whenever that time came.

I just had a similar expirience. Ok, were u ever approached by a shabby looking person with a mobile phone asking you to recharge his cell phone using a coupon or worse recharge a airtel phone with a idea coupon? You give that person some instructions fataafat to make him disappear fataafat. Then with a blank face that person will shove his fone in ur face and beg you to punch in the required buttons to get the work done...You sigh but anyway will do it least he will go away..
Yeah so i had a similar experience...of being that shabby irritating guy with the cell phone.. I was in the market in Hyderabad to get some freshly ground coffee. I went to the shop.and asked the person how much time will it take ...he said "bas do minute saahab "
I was thinking "saale tereku maggi nahi maanga hai coffe maanga hai"
Anyway I bought the beans and asked him to grind it. He said come after 10-15 minutes. I said i will be back in 20 minutes and he replied "haan saahab"...
Seeing so much of variation in time, I asked him to give his phone number so that i can call him before actually coming.
"rondu ondala yaabaay moodu ondala something something" said he
I thought he was uttering some holy mantras to ward off... mosquitoes and flies around his shop. So there was I with a question mark on my face and looking here and there trying to show how uncool he was .
But he did not mind.."rondu ondala yaabaay moodu ondala something something". Finally i gave up and gave him my cellphone to him and asked him to punch it out for me..
"Aaj ka young generation ekdum phaaltu ! kuch nahi aata!"after nicely feeding my pride to the dogs he gave my cell back and screamed "two hundered and fifty....I also know english!"
I was wishing i was the dog nearby..No not because dogs dont have numbers..because i could have bitten him and ran away :D

I am too lazy to buy any book to better myself.


Siddhesh said...

Nicely written....did u actually write on my suggestion (i feel great now..shss if you didn't don't mention) is definitely good reading...

So anyways this Taste of illiteracy is faced by everyone, c'mon after spending half of my life in Pune and learning Hindi from bollywood, I did not know the meaning of a Hindi sentence, 'Mujhe redi se gajak lana hai, chal mere saat'

Imagine the look on the face of the person when i asked her to explain the same in Hindi, mujhe koi Idea nahi kee mujhe kaha jana tha aur kya lana tha... :P

Imagine, I could understand the rocket science of Himesh Reshmiya with Kashis Ka Aalam etc, but I could not understand plain Hindi sentence...illiteracy man... :P

Kartik Sura said...

I am getting more stuff in my head now...about total ignorance about telugu....
wait for my next post [:D]

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